it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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