He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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