The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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