i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
