you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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