So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Randomize
