i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
even my farts smell like vagina
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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