ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
