Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
