And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
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Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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