I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
