White coat. Heels.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
