I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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