i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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