I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
