This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Your penis caused this!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
