like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I party with great urgency now.
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