She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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