im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i dont even know how to be here
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
