Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
