This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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