We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
