I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
