you guys were way drunker than both of me
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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