You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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