You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
