I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
