He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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