Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize