how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize