Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
