The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
