it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
