C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
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We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
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Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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