i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
