Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
There r osticjed everywhere
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Randomize
