Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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