I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
