I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
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Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
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I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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