I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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