Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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