And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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