I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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