Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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