that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize