I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
