the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
