if i can run in heels then i can drive
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Randomize