# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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