i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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