I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
