Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
they're like a gay fantastic four
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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