I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just gargled with NyQuil
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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