i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
