How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
