u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
