benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
