He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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