Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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