I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
