i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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