That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Come on in and take your pants off
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